I hereby engage a procedure that may warp my mind for the rest of my life as I’m trying to decide the right way to start this post about one of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen.

I am really fond of H.P. Lovecraft’s works, so I’m no stranger to how madness can overcome one’s mind and reduce a perfectly sane human being into a blabbering puddle of meat. Yet, I’m not sure the sunken R’lyeh itself houses beings that could make as many jaws drop or inspire as many “WTF?”s as can the latest Wii game I had the pleasure (don’t take me too literally there, I’m not sure “pleasure” is what describes the experience best) to test.

And that would be Muscle March.

Everyone who has heard of Japan knows that, alongside their traditional customs, on the other side of the sakura trees, past the kimonos and under their tatamis, the Japanese create an unending stream of WEIRD STUFF.

So I should have known that something called “Muscle March” would be cazier than the Joker. And to some extent, I knew it. I knew it was a game where macho men in speedos ran one behind each other, striking poses to pass through walls. And I had seen some videos, too !

Yet the real thing was even crazier.